An EXCERPT

...They entered a more pleasant area of the castle with a wide fireplace, the walls lined with wooden paneling.

“Quite something isn’t it?” said Master Quick with his arms folded over his belly. He looked up at the ceiling, admiring the huge chandeliers.

“Yes, we’ve got the best modern conveniences up here,” he said, “In fact, right on your left there is a well-equipped garderobe with specially cut linen squares.”

Anthony’s ears pricked up at once.

“Garderobe – does that mean loo?” he said.

Master Quick nodded sternly.

“But it’s only for private use, I’m afraid.” he said.

Anthony sighed.

The jailer locked hands behind his back and turned.

“Follow me and I’ll take you down the tower to the functional prison; that is, the dungeon. I’m sure you’re all dying to see it!”

Molly and Brother Martin’s eyes met briefly for a moment and with the master’s back turned she leaned in and whispered something in the monk’s ear. Some horrifying plan sure to get them tortured, thought Anthony.

“Take care and mind your footing here,” said Master Quick who was struggling with his girth on the narrow passageway.

They descended what seemed to be an endless spiral of grey stone. Anthony felt sick. As they approached the bottom of the turret they could hear low moaning, then screaming and a rank smell filled their nostrils.

“Don’t worry about that noise,” said Master Quick, “The barber surgeon’s in today to extract Bruno’s rotten teeth (Bruno is the gongfermour, you understand). As for the smell - it’s merely Bruno himself as well as some durian fruit air freshener sent over by Bishop O’Day as a joke. For ambiance he said. He has excellent connections on the silk road and quite an odd sense of humor.”

Swiftly passing the small room where the barber-surgeon was at work, they came to a line of cells.

“Confidentially, I would be happy to release a few of these prisoners today for pecuniary reasons. They aren’t remotely profitable, in fact, they are a substantial liability. Take that one for instance - ”

They came to a rough iron grating and looked through. A skeletal old man with a long grey beard and blackened fingernails peered out blankly. “Blind as a bat,” said Master Quick, “Brought in here last week for bumping into a rather unyielding Dinglebury. I am sure the poor fool couldn’t see a thing but still they had their servant make a citizen’s arrest and brought him here. Of course he had nothing of value on him and is only costing me bread.”

Anthony was astonished to see it was Old George the cottar.

“Is that where you got the turnips from?” he said to Master Quick.

“That’s right, young mistress, how did you know?”

“Just a guess,” said Anthony.

As the group moved on he held back and turned to Old George,

“Don’t worry,” he whispered, “we’ll get you out of here somehow.”

Old George blinked silently; he was shaking...